Saturday, September 15, 2001 8:17:41 AM
Panera Monroeville and actual cream cheese on my bagel
For the Blog
Here I go setting goals that will make me unhappy. I will make as many entries in this Web Log as I do in my personal journal, which is to say at least three and probably six times a week. Wow! I said it and already my stomach is tied in knots. Remember those articles in Reader's Digest. Hi! I'm Joe's Stomach? I don't every remember them getting around to my genitals.
My name is Joe Coluccio and I am the Hhigh Hheen of Lackzoom Acidophilus. Not many can make such a claim. Highh Heenn is a controversial title and we all believed at the moment of creation that it should have as many spellings as possible. (We did reject Hahepe Hfyuyusdf pretty soundly and the perhaps accurate A**H*** I rejected right out of the box.) Before I really tell the story of HHighh Hheenn I want to introduce the group - present and past.
I will use first names only and urge the others to come out of hiding and fess up.
There is Marc, Foley, Dean sometimes Bill. We are au courant. In the passe simple to keep rolling with this French malappropriate lingual romp is Phil, Dave, Mike. (for a tres petite pois I think there was a Jeanine and a Monica, but my hair starts to fizzle when I give that much presence of my mind to our history((And as all can point out that is a precious small commodity(((where does the period go?)))
We started out on a small somebody fill in the wattage cause I don't remember community access FM radio station in Pittsburgh, PA. Call letters WYEP, then 91.5, now 91.3, as a four hour Saturday morning radio program that featured comedy recordings, readings from, well, I remember Woody Allen's Without Feathers anyhow and eventually original work. And the Lackzoom members accrued.
We, in a fit of fatigue, started to perform locally. We almost made it to the movies playing gay sailors at the Erie shore. We once got bonged at a local version of the Gong Show. Yes it was quite a life and someday, I swear, the full story of Duke the Wonder Dog will be read into the historical record.
Hihh Hean!
Well, with all the loot we got from performing, we needed a safe storage place when the mason jar completely filled. We choose good old Mellon Bank here in PBurgh. Marc got a hold of an account application card and we were immediately in a high and definite quandary. They wanted the names and titles of the people who were signatory to the account. What could we do? We had to create them. Hheen, what good was a Hheen without a Hhigh Hheen. Phil volunteered to become Splagg and that left Dean with the title of Double Splagg. (If you are paying close attention, you will have figured that Marc was the Hheen and because I don't want you to think that I think you are really dumb I will not point out that I already laid claim to the title Hhhhighhh Hhhheennn earlier in this journal entry.)
Marc took the proudly and, I would like to point out, fully filled out bank card to the Mellons. Now, we all figured that he would come back with stories of a truly bewildered bank clerk, but instead she entered the information and thanked him. It has been a problem with our comedy.
Ciao bambini!